Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
