some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
