then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
