your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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