she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
