please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
