she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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