I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
