I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I am available for nakedness
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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