Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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