There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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