Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
