she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
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