so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
