try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
