Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
