It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
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just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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