i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
