then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
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