Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
