I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
