His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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