Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
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I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
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I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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