I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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