Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
