After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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