As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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