Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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