Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
