you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize