There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Can I color on your dick again?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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