I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
