We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I intend to get homeless drunk
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
