Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
