I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize