So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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