a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize