I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
