I wannas sexs uuuuu
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
