i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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