We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
