I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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