We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
