Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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