The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
