so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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