My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
