i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
