ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
