You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
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just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
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I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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