Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
