4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
