I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
