you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
