worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
