break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
