I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
