I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize