So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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